


Hypothetical Questions

by PoemsUrCool



Category: Our Cartoon President (Cartoon), Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Drabble, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Humor, Parody, Politicians, Politics, Questions, Satire, Showtime, Steakhouse, Weird, Weird Fluff, cartoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:01:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26897845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoemsUrCool/pseuds/PoemsUrCool
Summary: Joe and Bernie are sitting in the Steakhouse, and Joe starts to ask some weird questions. drabble
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Hypothetical Questions

[Joe and Bernie are sitting in the *Steakhouse together.]

[Joe begins poking Bernie in his side.]

Joe Biden: Hey Bernie! Bernie! Hey Bernie! Bernie, Bernie, Bernie!

[Bernie is starting to get visibly annoyed.]

Bernie Sanders: What?! What do you want to say, Joe?

Joe Biden: I’ve started thinking about things, lately!

Bernie Sanders: That’s dangerous.

Joe Biden: Me and **Thinky have been talking more, and he suggested I asked you a bunch of… now what was that word? Hippothetical? Hyperthetical?... Typothetical? hehe...

Bernie Sanders: “Hypothetical”, Joe.

Joe Biden: Right! Hypothetical questions!

[Bernie had absolutely no idea what Biden was talking about (which is typical, since Biden’s brain seemed to work in an odd way. Bernie decided he’d humor him.]

Bernie Sanders: Alright, Joe. Shoot.

Joe Biden: Where do you think we go when we die??

Bernie Sanders: [without skipping a beat] Nowhere. Next question.

Joe Biden: Uh, ok! If you, me, and Barack were stranded on an island, who do you think would be the first to die?

Bernie Sanders: Honestly? It’d be me.

Joe Biden: Give yourself a little bit more credit! [Joe pauses] Nah, you’re right. You’ll be the first to die! We’d probably eat you! You look eat-able.

[Joe gets up and begins doing his signature dance. He does this whenever he starts to get excited.]

Joe Biden: OK! OK! OK! I’m thinking of a color… What is it?

[Bernie knew this wasn’t a hypothetical question, but he didn’t mention that to Joe. Instead he looked at the color of Joe’s tie.]

Bernie Sanders: Let me guess, blue?

Joe Biden: [disappointed] You got lucky. [Joe sits back down.] Ok, ok. Hmm… If I were an animal, what would I be? Probably a big ol’ tiger, right? Something cool? Right??

Bernie Sanders: Hmmm… You strike me as more of an albino ferret kinda person.

Joe Biden: Rude! Also oddly specific.

Bernie Sanders: Relax, Joe. At least ferrets are cute.

Joe Biden: [playfully] AWW! You think I’m cute?

[Bernie glares at him.]

Bernie Sanders: Don’t make me get up and leave, Joe.

Joe Biden: I’m joking, I’m joking! Ok, I can see that I’m annoying you-

[Bernie is surprised, but doesn’t show it. He thought Joe Biden completely lacked self-awareness.]

Joe Biden: -so I’ll ask you one more question, alright fella?

Bernie Sanders: [sighs] Fine, Joe. 

Joe Biden: If we were cartoon characters, in a cartoon, do you think that I’d be a main character? Do you? [gasps] Or maybe even… the main character? [Joe starts bouncing in his seat a little, he’s so damn excited.]

[Bernie thinks long and hard about this one, while also wondering what goes through Biden’s mind on a daily basis.]

Bernie Sanders: If I were to be honest? I think you would start off as a recurring character, but over time you’d become a main character. You just have that kind of personality.

[Joe gives a big happy smile.]

Joe Biden: [struggling to find the proper words] Well...maybe the same for you… That is... If you made more of an effort to be handsome! [giggles]

[Joe gets up and happily skips out the door, leaving Bernie shocked, confused, and with the bill for Joe’s food.]

**Author's Note:**

> *The Steakhouse is a recurring location on the show.
> 
> *"Thinky" is Joe's alternate personality that he met in the episode Debate Prep. just letting you know


End file.
